Darkness, the absence of Light

Darkness, the absence of Light

The absence of Light
The absence of Light

My father loved poetry, he used to recite poems all the time as he walked around the house. “To Christ crucified”  was one of my favorites, it always managed to move me to unspoken tears … In spite of being too young to comprehend how deep those words were, I always had a profound feeling of respect and sadness at the same time every time I heard them.  The tone of his voice, the intensity and the feeling he had behind those words were powerful…  My father was an agnostic or so he said… I think he wanted to be and tried hard to make others believe he was. There were some moments like those ones when he recited this poem that lead me to believe later on that he was just trying, as strange as it might sound, to protect himself of hope.  Many of us try hard to stop believing so we can’t be hurt anymore. We try to stop believing in real love and decency, in human integrity and character, we try to stop believing in fairness and possibilities, even in God.  We feel all grown up and too smart to believe…even though there is something inside of us that needs desperately to do so and never, ever stops searching, even in all the wrong places, for that light that seems to start inside of us and needs to connect to it’s source, a much bigger and powerful light, in order to continue to exist. It is then, when we cease to believe, that we become broken, empty lanterns without a fire, without a purpose… It saddens me to accept that I, as well, had walked away from the light inadvertently, not completely, not that far, still far enough to experience such darkness… I love little Albert Einstein’s explanation to his teacher about darkness not existing and been impossible to be proven scientifically, he said it is only the absence of light. Researching the story a while ago I found out it was an urban legend… I was heart broken and refused to believe it wasn’t real so I decided right there and then to hold on to it, for as long as I could… too much beauty and truth in it to let go.

My father lost his mother when he was a little boy, I can only imagine how hard it must have been…  I think that had a big influence on him trying to live his life without faith or hope. He never said it but it makes sense to me now… it’s made sense to me for a while actually, specially since he died in September of 2011.  It’s helped me greatly to believe that he actually, deep, deep down, in a dark, quiet corner of his heart, believed… the way he recited this poem with such sorrow and passion…   There were a few things and moments during his life where we were able to see signs of his lost faith since he went to Catholic school. Those moments had given me hope that he has finally reunited with his Mother and that I will see him again, joyful and in peace, without pain, the way it was intended to be… and he will hold me and comb my hair and tell me how pretty and smart I am again…

Father and daughter
Father and daughter

Here is the translated poem and the original.

 Sonnet to Jesus Crucified

I am not moved, my God, to love You
by the heaven that You have promised me
and I am not moved either by hell so feared
as the reason to stop offending You.

You move me, my Lord, it moves me to see You
nailed to a cross and your flesh destroyed,
what moves me is to see your body so injured,
what moves me is your suffering and your death.

What moves me, finally, is your love, and in such way,
that even if there was no heaven, I would love You,
and even if there was no hell, I would fear You.

You don’t have to give me for me to love You,
so even if what I hope for I did not hope,
the same that I love You, I would love You.

—Translated by José Leo O S

A Cristo crucificado

No me mueve, mi Dios, para quererte
el cielo que me tienes prometido,
ni me mueve el infierno tan temido
para dejar por eso de ofenderte.

Tú me mueves, Señor, muéveme el verte
clavado en una cruz y escarnecido,
muéveme ver tu cuerpo tan herido,
muévenme tus afrentas y tu muerte.

Muéveme, en fin, tu amor, y en tal manera,
que aunque no hubiera cielo, yo te amara,
y aunque no hubiera infierno, te temiera.

No me tienes que dar porque te quiera,
pues aunque lo que espero no esperara,
lo mismo que te quiero te quisiera.

This week, as we remember Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection, I better realize what happens when we extinguish the light.  We are surrounded by what we perceived as darkness, we are surrounded by the absence of THE LIGHT.

Is done
It is finished…
The beginning... Vierge Aux Anges, William Adolphe Bouguereau.
The beginning… Vierge Aux Anges, William Adolphe Bouguereau.
The Joy..
The Joy..
The Light
The Light, William Adolphe Bouguereau’s The Virgin of  the Lilies
Bouguereau's Pietà
The darkness, William Adolphe Bouguereau’s Pietà
Michelangelo
The hope, Michelangelo’s Madonna and Child. Church of our Lady, Bruges, Belgium.
The sorrow
The sorrow, Michelangelo’s Pietà.  St Peter’s Basilica, Vatican City.
L'Innocence, William Auguste Bouguereau
L’Innocence, William Auguste Bouguereau…. The world making sense !
Caravaggio
Betrayal: To deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty. The taking of Christ by Caravaggio, National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin.
Madonna della Seggiola
Madonna della Seggiola, detail. I am totally captivated with this painting, Mary’s face and expression are beyond beautiful, the look in her eyes mesmerize me !…. I’m at a loss for words
Raffaello's Madonna della Seggiola
Raffaello Sanzio, Madonna della Seggiola, Florence, Italy
The world gone mad...
The world gone mad…
The beauty of colors
The beauty of colors.  The Star of Bethlehem by Edward Burne-Jones. Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery, Birmingham, England.
The Pasion
The Pasion
Of love and family
Of love and family
The teachings
The teachings and examples
Ecce Homo by Antonio Ciseri
About hypocrisy and cowardly…. Ecce Homo by Antonio Ciseri
A child ... a Teacher, Jesus in the Temple
A child … a Teacher, Jesus in the Temple
Entry of Christ into Jerusalem.  Van Dyck
Entry of Christ into Jerusalem. Van Dyck.  Hosanna!
The last Supper
The last Supper. Leonardo da Vinci.  Santa Maria delle Grazie, Milan
Madness...
Madness… The Elevation of The Cross, Triptych by Flemish artist Peter Paul Rubens.  Cathedral of our Lady, Antwerp, Belgium
Peter Paul Rubens
Peter Paul Rubens, The Elevation of the Cross, I find confusing that both versions are different, no idea which one is the original…
The Beginning
The Beginning
The end
The end
The world as it is supposed to be
The world as it is supposed to be.  Christ in the House of his Parents by John Everett Millais,  Tate Britain, London
Fisher of men
Fisher of men
Jesus with fishermen
Jesus with fishermen by Jean van Orley, in Sint Salvador, Brugge, Belgium.
The Light, the Hope
The Light, the Hope, Leonardo da Vinci
The road
The road less traveled…
We all carry our cross
We all carry our cross
And know that I am with you always, yes, to the end of time
And know that I am with you always, yes, to the end of time
King of kings, Lord of lords
King of kings, Lord of lords
Christ crucified
Christ crucified by Diego Velázquez.  Museo del Prado, Spain

It’s been a long, long time coming! ~ From St. Augustine, Florida

Beautiful
The Bridge of Lions, famous landmark in St. Augustin, Florida.

Hello everybody! where did time go?!   I’ve been really busy lately, traveling and working in a design project, among other things, in St. Augustine, and without realizing I almost forgot I have a blog … Not that I had been writing much since I started, I’ve been rather inconsistent about it, in spite of that I enjoy it immensely… What happens is that I have the impression, or at least I kid my self with the idea that nobody is going to read this, that it is just a kind of personal, kind of private sort of thing… and then I get a bit nervous when I see that I’d had visitors from all over the world…. how did that happened?! How is that even possible?!  I know other bloggers are so used to it, not me, I still find comfort in anonymity and the lack of pressure that comes with not having a lot of people following you… in the other hand, deep down, you have the desire of being validated by people finding some value in your words… It’s complicated…

One of the
A few pictures of my visit to St. Augustine, Florida. This is one of the two Carrara marble Medici lions, flanking one of the entrances of “The Bridge of Lions” One of the prettiest in the country
The second lion, they were sculpted by Italian
The second lion, they were made by the Italian sculptor Romanelli, and are copies of the ones in The Loggia dei Lanzi in Florence, Italy.
Bridge of Lions
Bridge of Lions
almost peacefull
Peaceful
....
Open bridge, cars are waiting for the ships to finish crossing, it is a pretty sight! The cars even seem to be enjoying the wait with those views.
The Galleon
The Galleon
Impresive
Impressive
Where two worlds mix together
Where two worlds mix together
What an experience!
What an experience!

I took the time and looked, day by day, where all those visitors came from, WordPress shows all sorts of data like that, (I imagine also every other host in the planet) how many visits you had per day and where in the world your visitors came from… This is so COOL and I can’t believe it!  People from France, Belgium, Switzerland, Sweden, Netherlands, Greece, Russia, Germany, United Kingdom , Kuwait, Finland, Hungary, Chile, Austria, Kenya, Egypt, Korea,(I assume South Korea, right?!  I don’t think Kim Jong-Un was reading my blog, since he is pretty much the only one with internet access in North Korea …  I don’t take that matter lightly, just not the place or time to discuss it……. – And I went back and looked again, it clearly says: South Korea!)  Perú, Slovenia, Argentina, India, Bosnia & Herzegovina,  Australia, Poland, Norway, Spain, Portugal, Honduras, Saudi Arabia, Hong Kong SAR China, Serbia, Jersey, Andorra, Iceland, Algeria, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Bermuda, Colombia, European Union, Brazil, Italy, New Zealand, Slovakia, Bangladesh, Romania, Mexico, Turkey, South Africa, Latvia, Czech Republic, Japan, Montenegro, Vietnam, Croatia and Reunion!   Really? Jersey?! Is that even a country?… Never mind! I just Googled it and of course it is … I feel ashamed… (not really, not that much, how can I keep up with the new configurations of old nations and all the changes the world’s had and continue having?! … I should, but I don’t..)

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– AND THERE THEY ARE!  THE HAPPY CITIZENS OF JERSEY! SORRY GUYS…

I still can’t believe that somebody found me and took the time to read what I wrote… shocking…outstanding…mind blowing…scary… humbling…

Impatience has to be one of my biggest flaws. I can’t just write  this and let it sit and then come back later or the next day and finish it.  The way I see it, or I should say, the way I feel it, is that I’m just sharing this with a group of my friends, in a very informal and relaxed way….that’s why I talk about impatience, if somebody else apart from them is going to read any of these posts, I would/should take the time to correct them and try to make them better… But then again it wouldn’t feel right, it is not who I am, I’m not here pretending to be a writer, I’m just trying to share a little bit of my journey “Here on Earth” and the things I love….  My love of photography shows in my life in so many ways… pictures inundate every corner of it, my head and my phone, and I inundate the people in my life with them!   My poor kids complain often, from wherever in the world they are at the time, about me sending too many photos, but I really believe that in time, they will be happy I did, and very glad to have them. There is a reason why when there is a fire, one of the first things people grab is just that, their pictures.  Family is the great motivator in  life, either the family you were  born in, or the family you created yourself with friends and your own family.

I find photography fascinating, I see it as life itself frozen forever in time in a frame …. Isn’t that something?! perhaps that is why it is so popular to share your life in pictures in so many ways through the internet. People have a need to be seen or to be heard and they measure success with the number of “friends” or followers they have…. when success is found in the ability of living your life doing something you have a passion for, surrounded by the people you love, in peace with yourself and really liking the man or woman staring you back in the mirror!

Not to break a good habit, I’m sharing some pictures of the beautiful city of St. Augustine, where I spent my last month and a half, I hope you enjoy it and perhaps get motivated to visit this wonderful place. xx

IMG_8264_2

My first night,  dinner at O.C. White’s, a really nice place with live music and a dog friendly policy.

Dog friendly restaurants
Dog friendly restaurants
The best part of the night was
The best part of the night was spending time with my daughter who had just moved to St Augustine a few months ago
French
French bakery and pâtisserie, Les Petits Pleasures were we had a really nice “dejeuner”, I didn’t get the name though, half french and half english…
I totally loved the european vibe
I totally loved the european vibe and the relaxed “laissez faire” atmosphere they have
A nice walk after dinner to
A nice walk after dinner to experience the city and the beautiful sites of the oldest european settlement in the United States
a walk to remember...
a walk to remember…
It really was like going back in time
It really was like going back in time, to a place I had never been before, to a time I had never known,  and yet, it still  felt so familiar…

The next pictures are obviously from another day…

Cute little house along facing the Matanzas river
Many pretty houses along the street facing the Matanzas river
Enchanted
Enchanted
I was delighted!
I was delighted!
There were so many ...
There were so many …
Many pretty houses along the street facing the Matanzas river
Many pretty houses along the street facing the Matanzas river
Lovely!
Lovely!

Up to here, all photos are mine.

At this point, after a long day of flying and emotional reunions, my phone had died, so it left me with no choice but getting some pictures from the internet to show you how pretty the city looked illuminated with thousands of lights for the Christmas season. I was told it had been very hard to walk, let alone drive, in the city up to a week before. I arrived on January 20th, so things had calmed down already and I was able to enjoy the sites without the commotion!

..
The Lightener Museum
There is something really special about this city that appears to be frozen on time
There is something really special about this city that appears to be frozen in time
..
..
The Bridge of Lions all decked out for the holidays
The Bridge of Lions all decked out for the holidays, casting it’s spell on the Matanzas river
...
Festival of lights around the holidays
Festival of lights around the holidays
The city has a violent history ...
The city has a violent history …
What a beautiful view!
What a beautiful view!
Bay front
Bay front
Flagler College
Flagler College
Castillo de San Marcos at night
Castillo de San Marcos at night
San Marcos
San Marcos
Bridge of Lions
Bridge of Lions
at night..
at night..
Mysterious..
Mysterious..
Tree covered street in St Augustine
Tree covered street in St Augustine
The Lions
The Lions
Presbyterian church
Presbyterian church
The carrara marble lions , west end of the Bridge
The Carrara marble lions , west end of the Bridge
I'll be coming back really soon!
I’ll be coming back really soon!

– SO…WHAT DO YOU THINK? HAVE YOU ALREADY VISITED ST AUGUSTINE? IF NOT, HOPEFULLY THIS HELPED YOU GET MOTIVATED TO DO SO AND ENJOY ALL THE BEAUTY AND HISTORY THE CITY HAS TO OFFER. I’M GOING BACK AT THE END OF APRIL, SO I WOULD LOVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ABOUT WHAT NOT TO MISS!    MORE PHOTOS TO COME IN THE NEXT POST 😉