Gramercy Park, This is an Emergency! Our Ellie is gone…

Where are you, sweet Ellie?!!!!   You left without saying goodbye!!   What the heck?! This is not the way it was supposed to be!!  You fought so hard, for so long, you kept your cool and kicked ALS’s arse so many times that I thought you were going to be THE ONE, the freaking one to beat it! … You deserved it, You earned it!  What the bloody hell! …. YOU DID!  You know what I mean?!

I was waiting for your next stories… you said you had so much to tell us… you promised! …or did you?  I thought you did…  Your last post was so beautiful!  It took my breath away! “The Journey Home” … what a gift you gave us!  -perhaps you knew?  I’m sure you knew it wasn’t this home you were talking about, that’s why you had to come back so desperately… –  The post was magnificent,  just like you my dear, witty, naughty, irreverent you, incomparable and unique YOU, dearest Ellie…  THANK YOU!    God Bless you!!!-   I’m so glad you got to do that, I’m so glad you left France on a high note and I’m so glad you had that magic opportunity to reconcile with your beloved Provence… It couldn’t have been any other way!  You were able to have everything you always loved and enjoyed so passionately and fiercely, in one magic place for one last time … I’m grateful you made it home to your precious Santa Barbara, I’m grateful you made it to “Merica”, that’s all you wanted!

Are you running in Gramercy Park now Ellie?  Are you finally carefree, blissful, unafraid?!  Are you jumping up and down, and skipping over the cracks of the sidewalk, peering into the bottom windows of the brownstones you wanted so badly to be able to afford?  Are you doing all that like you said you would?!   Tell me you are spinning around in circles, hair floating, arms stretched as far as possible, head in the clouds like you always had, your face lifted towards the sky staring into heaven with eyes wide open … Please… let us know you are!

I wonder…  If we were really careful and would pay really close attention, and would keep really quiet … I wonder if we would be able to hear your laughter mixed with the wind blowing through the treetops and among the roses…

I think you are in Gramercy Park right now…I can almost see you…now you don’t need to bargain with God for five more minutes of freedom anymore my dearest and bravest Ellie, YOU GOT IT … you are finally free, unbounded and limitless…You are finally Home.

Here is one of my favourite post of yours, “Don’t Mind if I Do, Gramercy Park” one that moved and touched every fiber of my soul. I want people to read it and get to know you, I want everybody to have that joy…

What are “We”, your “imaginary friends”  -like Gracie used to call us-   going to do without you?!   It seems like we were part of something special and magic that others won’t be able to understand…  I’m going to miss people I don’t even know!  I’ll especially miss   Penelope Bianchi,  Stephen Andrew,  Heather of Lost in Arles, La Contessa , Hollie of The silver Pen , so very dearly, and others I got to know over there in your brilliant, hysterical, smart, emotional, profound, refreshing, and freakingly honest BLOG  Have Some Decorum

I guess its time to say goodbye … but it seems I’m not able to do that just yet … I’m not ready…it’ll only have to be à bientôt for now…   I LOVE YOU sweet Ellie O’Connell, and I’ll be seeing you in my dreams.

And here you are, for those of you who don’t know you, with your husband David, the French guy.   Ashtonishingly  beautiful !

And here you are with Gracie, Amazing Grace like you liked to call her!

…. and here you are with mom… “Look, I can walk!” That’s what you said about this picture!! You blew my mind!  You really never lost it….  you were the coolest chick in town, and you still are,  your spirit keeps going on forever…

Don’t mind if I do, Gramercy Park…

 

In Manhattan, New York there is a very special park called Gramercy Park. This park is so special that it’s private and can be only accessed by those #LuckyDucks who live on Gramercy Park. And they get a key. The golden key to Gramercy Park. Be jealous, be very jealous.

But, guess what? As part of an old New York charitable holiday tradition, the gates to Gramercy Park are open to us losers on Christmas Eve! The Gramercy Park church, Parish of Calvary St.George, will also be having carolers starting at 6 PM in the park. This is absolutely not to be missed!

You may be wondering why I am so excited about this. Well, it’s hard to even write this without crying, but Gramercy Park happens to be the last place I was before, minutes before, I was diagnosed with ALS. I thought that I would let you guys in on a chapter of my book about it. I should have my book finished by March but I thought you guys would like a preview of the Gramercy Park chapter.

Here it is…

Gramercy Park

Gramercy Park on the lower East side of Manhattan has always held a special place in my heart. The name alone just sounds cool. Then there is the Gramercy Park Hotel designed in part by one of my favorite artists, Julian Schnabel, with its amazing color scheme of rosy reds, Fire King green and sapphire blues. Then there is the architecture of the brownstones around the park. A little village within a big city. And then there is the garden. The secret private garden to which only a lucky few hold the keys.

I always feel like a little part of me is still in Gramercy Park. Like a little bit of me is still wandering around the park… The part of me that doesn’t have ALS.

As I walked out of the offices of 1^stdibs on my lunch break casually walking to the neurologist office for what I thought would be a quick appointment, I never imagined that this would be my last carefree walk. Physically it was not a carefree walk because I had a strange limp and I was worried that every crack in the sidewalk would cause me to fall flat on my face. Mentally, all I was thinking about was the beautiful park.

I walked past the church at the corner of the park and I remember saying to myself, “On my way back from the neurologist appointment, I need to stop at the church and check out their little thrift shop.” I was thinking that I needed to come back to the Gramercy Park Hotel for cocktails later that week with my girlfriends. I was thinking, “God, I wish I could afford one of these brownstones around the park.” My mind floated around thinking how beautiful and lush the little garden was and if the residents who held the coveted key to the garden could grow tomatoes in there.

What I was thinking about was just… Nothing. Now all I think about is… Everything. That five-minute walk in Gramercy Park was the last trace of who I used to be. That girl was like you… She had worries but they were just regular worries. Can I pay my rent this month? Is Gracie getting good grades in school? Does David love me more than his ex-wife? Why are my friends such bitches? Will I ever forgive my father? You know, regular worries. My days were normal…wake up, deal, go to bed. I walked around Gramercy Park that day with my head in the clouds and what I would give to go back to that day.

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember that moment in Gramercy Park before I walked into the doctor’s office. I can see it, feel it, smell it and almost taste it. I want to remind myself of who I was before and what it felt like to be carefree. I haven’t been carefree since that day. I want to cherish those few moments and have them emblazoned in my soul so I don’t ever forget what it was like… Before.

Sometimes I beg God to just let me have those few moments of liberty back. Let me just walk around the park again without knowing my fate. Let me be ignorant, let me be blissful, let me be unafraid. If I could just have back a few moments… I would run around that park smelling every flower letting myself get pricked by a rose thorn. I would pop into the hotel and grab a cappuccino. I would peer into the bottom windows of the brownstones. I would skip over the cracks of the sidewalk. I would walk down the tiny broken steps of the church thrift store and pick things up and put them down at my leisure. Hell, I might even stretch out my arms, lift my head to the clouds, start spinning around in circles and sing a little song. At the end of my allotted time, I imagine I would try to renege on my deal with God and I would ask for more time. Don’t make me go forward to my life with ALS. Let me just stay in this park without ALS. Just give me another few minutes… This time I will cherish it, I promise.

So I encourage all of you to get over to Gramercy Park on Christmas Eve…

 

Ellie xoxo

The Privilege of Growing Old

I am stuck!  Don’t know what the heck has happened to me, it’s been three months already and I can’t stand looking at the last post I did any longer! I officially hate it, so I left my bed in the middle of the night determined to fix the problem. Enough is enough. I have something to say and it’s been stuck in my throat and heart for a while… My friend Ellie is dying, she is dying really young…and Aging is a privilege, so if you are aging you are so darn lucky.

My friend Ellie is dying with ALS. I’ve never met her, but thousands of us consider her our best friend. She has this crazy beautiful blog called “Have Some Decorum” -you can find it here  – and thousands of adoring followers and friends…she is young and gorgeous, with a loving french husband and a pretty teenager daughter whom she adores and calls The Brat!  Ellie is a California girl living in Paris, she’s hilarious and irreverent, tender and tough, with a dirty mouth and a mischievous brain as quick and bright as a ray of light.  All her friends around the world, myself included, can’t accept the fact that we’re losing her and are praying for a miracle… and I would be all so grateful if you could add her to you prayers too.

To understand Ellie, you have to get to know her, it’s so worth it. I promise!  But you must go way back in her blog to really get her. Don’t make the mistake to judge, just let yourself experience a lesson in life and strength that is rare and remarkable. I found her  in 2014 through Janet from the blog The gardener’s Cottage  Janet had just discovered her and  begged us to pay her a visit, she was smitten and couldn’t stop reading…and then crying…  I started reading and I was hooked. I can only tell you to be prepared to laugh out loud and cry like a child…

I don’t have images of “Real People” growing old with grace, I’ve been told in this post  “Gray is Beautiful, or is it?” that the people in the pictures are rich, famous and photoshoped.  I agree, but those are the only pictures available and until I become a famous photographer and I can produce my own material, this will have to suffice, of course that’s never going to happen, I barely know how to use my camera in automatic and prefer my iphone!

What is true  and will continue to be true is that aging is a privilege not offered to all and that there is remarkable beauty, strength and character hidden in the lines that cover us all.

Ellie and Gracie in California

Ellie (Left in red and rhinestones?) and husband David. Don’t know who the lady in red in the middle is.

Ellie, not long after…

So let’s never forget to give thanks for the privilege and beauty of growing old

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for listening…

 

What Women are missing these days… and don’t even know

Talking strictly Fashion and Glamour here!

Suddenly I feel nostalgic of a bygone era of elegance and romance, perhaps it is because lately lmy friends and I have been talking  about our parents …   .Well,  we are always talking about our parents actually, reminiscing moments forever engraved inside of us, just a little dusty and hidden in the deep folds of the mind …  missing and longing,  even for the ones that are still with us, the memories of them, young and strong, stars of their own lives, not yet relegated to the corners by debilitating illnesses or by the darkness of games played by their minds that make them forget everything they once loved, created and dreamed of…

A time when it was ok to be feminine and delicate at the same time of being strong and smart… Vintage Dior, 1963

A time of hats… Vogue 1960

A Time of gentlemen opening doors and bringing flowers… at least in the movies !

A Time when it was beautiful to have curves and charm…

A Cinderella time! Dior 1950s

A time of dancing….    The magic of Fred and Rita!

A time of glamour and more glamour!

A time of seduction and mistery !  Christian Dior 1950

Cary Grant and Grace Kelly in “To catch a Thief”

A time of beauty and femininity! Christian Dior 1950s by Philippe Poitier

A time of Grace!

A time for The Saint!   Roger Moore

Christian Dior, Harper’s Bazaar 1951

Exquisite times!   Photography by Gordon Parks

Yves St. Laurent, 1958.

A time of perfect Grace!

Franco Nero

Elegant and timeless. 1960s

Lanvin, 1952

Dior 1954.  Perfection!

Rita!

Rock Hudson

A time of class!

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Christopher Plummer

Eleanor Parker

Audrey Hepburn

Gilda! Rita Hayworth

Elizabeth Taylor

Christopher Plummer

A time of Hats!  Vintage Dior

Baroness Schraeder

The name is Bond, James Bond.

A time of gloves!  Christian Dior, 1956  Anybody could wear this right now, without alterations, it is perfection, from color to design.  The only thing we wouldn’t see is that horrible linoleum floor!!

Dior 1950

Chanel 1950

A time when men didn’t shave their chest hair! Thank you.

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Vogue 1950s

The 50s

Vogue 1945

Vogue 1950

Jean Patou

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Roger Moore

Christian Dior 1958

Yves St. Laurent

Suzy Parker. Dior 1952

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Givenchy, 1954

Jean Patou 1969

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Eleanor Parker

Jackie

Grace

Rod Hudson

Lanvin, Spring 1969

Elizabeth Taylor

Christopher, my Captain Von Trapp

A wonderful time!

I know all past times were not necessarily better, but children have a way sometimes to rescue the best of their past in order to continue dreaming… Or in order to survive.

I had to add a few days after sharing that I hope everybody understood that I am talking strictly about Fashion, Style and Glamour!  The illusion, the perception, the memories through the eyes of a child.  And every time we catch a glimpse of an old movie on reruns, it brings us back to that moment, glancing through our mother’s magazine pages and being in awe of the beautiful ladies in hats and gloves, cladded in fabulous designers’ dresses, dreaming of the time we could wear something as feminine and as glamorous as that! (and only for that reason I’ll add a couple of pictures more… like I need an excuse to use more pictures!)

More of the 50s

Renee Breton in Christian Dior.

Grey is Beautiful … or is it?

I know why this is considered beautiful all over the world…. I feel the same way, hands down!   -Gorgeous, attractive, interesting, magnetic, enigmatic, … and so many positive adjectives more.

And who could argue about this man’s beauty and sex appeal?!   Nobody, I know.  Not me.  I really feel like I am dreaming looking at him…. ok, not really, but you get the point.  (Model: Aiden Shaw)

This man probably never had to considered a nose job to feel attractive, captivating, gorgeous and confident. He never had to fight to attain an impossible stereotype of what beauty is or should be.  His wrinkles only added to his natural rugged beauty, his nose gave him character, made him more interesting.  All his irregularities made him even better, manly, unattainable, unique.  Absolutely. I agree.   (In the picture: Andrew Lucchesi.)

We loved them even more when they started wearing pink!   -How daring, masculine, confident, awesome they looked… – It takes a real man to wear pink! That is what we all said…

But….. What happens when it comes to WOMEN?   Why is there such a difference between men and women regarding age and beauty?    To me is all a matter of habit and perception.  A very bad habit due to the crap we have been fed forever.  We are so used to have men portrayed as handsome and interesting regardless of their age, grey hair or wrinkles. What I call, natural wear and tear, and that is fine, the way it should be. We are what we are inside, it reflects on the outside.  A leather sofa or jacket for instance, they become more beautiful and valuable with time, when they start looking aged and weathered. It gives them character like it happens with men.

Yasmina Rossi

Women, on the other hand, we have always been portrayed as beautiful only when we are really, REALLY young and with almost ridiculous standards of beauty, so hard to attain and maintain. We  have a very short expiration date!   We are expected to look like plastic. The less pores and lines we have, the better… Is this a joke?  Really, have we gone insane? I see more and more women going for extreme treatments to make any lines or blemishes disappear. Their faces look like plastic and unreal. Expressionless. All this while, mostly men collect their money for the services they perform on them…

Lauren Hutton at 70 years old. She loves her expression lines and so do I.

Even worse, the sickness of some designers and most of the media turned teenagers and pre-teens, with an androgenic look, -which is perfectly normal and natural for their age and the changes they are going through-  into an ideal of beauty. They wanted to turn them into sex symbols and objects of desire. They wanted to perpetuate the look forever, they tried to force us to feel guilty for not looking like a malnourished teenager. Women started taking pills, even their kids pills, like adderall – another crazy subject- to stop being hungry.  How sick and disgusting is that?!  And our children bought into that. MEN bought into that.  WOMEN bought into that.  Who is and was so afraid of women, that wanted to perform a media lobotomy on us?!     – In the picture: Model Lauren Hutton, Gorgeous, vibrant, interesting, fascinating, intelligent, challenging.

It is not that easy to attract the interest and keep the attention of these accomplished, attractive and independent women, a total challenge. It is very hard to control somebody who knows her value and own strengths.  (In the picture: Linda Fargo)

Who could argue her beauty, even more so with grey hair?   There is nothing more attractive than self confidence and self worth, knowing who you are and of course your talent.   (In the picture: Writer Annika Von Holdt.)

I think he is extremely attractive and 30 years ago I would had felt the same way.

Elle MacPherson, 51 years old. I know she is a supermodel and stuff but this is what 51 is looking like, more and more, now that we women stopped believing the crap we were fed before!

Lauren Ezersky. What a gorgeous woman! When you have the power inside, you can wear and do whatever you want, the way you want it. Grey is not only beautiful but awesome, so gorgeous!

Aiden Shaw, I love his style, those shoes are to die for! Love the grey everywhere, people love grey … only not on women’s heads.

Why? ! Many people start turning grey even early in their 30’s. How can that be perceived as old age when we are suppose to live more than 80 years?!!!! Does it make any sense? It would be like believing High School was the best and most important part of your life!

Gorgeous! Come on people!  Could she had looked any better if she had dyed her hair?!  I have nothing against colouring your hair, my two sisters colour their hair, my mother colours her hair, most of my friends colour their hair. They look great.  What I am against is the perception of grey being ugly in women, the perception of grey meaning you are old, done and approaching your grave.   And only for women! What the bloody hell.

Dang he looks amazing!   -When I met my husband, one of the things I found myself more attracted to,  was his hair, very dark and with some brushes of white and grey above the ears.  So elegant and distinguished … That was my perception! …do you think he would have felt the same way about me if I had the same thing going on!? Hahaha!   We all know too well the answer to that….

Sarah Harris, authenticity and style.

She is really cool.

Elle MacPherson, the new 50s.  She is fantastic. Perfect is an expression I use probably too often.  But she is. Healthy, strong and confident. I don’t care if she colors her hair or not. That is not the point. The point is that she can do whatever she wants and still look young and sexy, she has the option.  Nothing to do with the models Karl Lagerfeld, a disturbed excuse of a man, uses in his work.   There is something so creepy about him. He gives me the chills, he says he hates ugly people and I am like… Hello! Look in the freaking mirror without your stupid glasses!  I don’t know how he can be Channel’s and Fendi’s head designer…

This is criminal in my opinion. Wait, this is plain criminal. Not just in my opinion.  I don’t think for a second Coco Chanel would had agreed with his insanity and sickness. He must hate women. That’s why he wants them to look like that.

How could he ever compete with this? Natural, fresh beauty of Cindy Crawford.

With this?!!!   How can we even compare the madness…  Karl Lagerfeld’s girls….

Gianni Versace’s Girls…. look at the smiles

This is beauty, the world has since gone insane.

Mario’s Girls! Beauty and class.

And now, back to Grey!

Sarah Harris started going grey in her early teens and decided to keep her natural colour. It takes personality and guts to dare going against the current, specially in the world of fashion where she spends her life as the fashion director for Vogue Magazine UK. She is a fashion icon now.

Curly, natural, grey hair.  So pretty!

Richard Gere, he made us dream as an officer and a gentleman and continue to do so now. That hair of his… don’t you want to run your fingers through it? 😉

Statuesque beauty, her hair makes her look even more gorgeous.

Sarah Harris (Photo by Timur Emek/Getty Images) Personality and style.

The one and only Meryl Streep ! She can make any hair color work, because it is she who is the star, everything else follows.

George, famous for being handsome. Pretty much.  I still love him. Again it comes to self confidence, he carries himself with such ease and charm that most of us melt. He looks even more handsome since he turned grey.

Many women start turning grey at 30, that means they “have” to colour their hair for the next 50 or 60 years.?! … If you want to do so, that is great, but not because we are so used to the images of grey haired women we’ve been fed forever.  Those images of old ladies ready to kick the bucket, retired, bored, sad, waiting for nothing and hopeless. That is a lie. It is not the way it is. This can be and often is, the best time of our lives, when we know who we are, we know what we want and we have the time and the means to do it, to start a new path in life.  Now I am going through a phase.  I can’t wait for my hair to be all grey, white or whatever it is going to be. It doesn’t mean I won’t color it at some point in the future if I feel like it, it means it is what I want NOW.  I find it so attractive and interesting, I feel excited about it  like if I was a teenager again.

Oh my gosh …. you see, this is my point exactly. They don’t feel old at all. They didn’t stop taking care of themselves and dressing like they were in the prime of their lives because they got grey. I believe they have never felt this confident and attractive in their lives.  And THAT is what I want us WOMEN to understand and to have. Regardless of the hair colour we choose to keep or to get. It goes well beyond that.

Sting!!! He’s definitely gotten better with age. If that is possible. It is possible, we see the proof over and over again. I’m surprised he allowed the photographer to photoshop him. Where are his awesome expression lines?

Yasmina Rossi, no comments necessary. Fifty Nine years old.

This is 59 years old, grandmother and model, Yasmina Rossi. Could she be more stunning?

Greys are the natural highlights God gave us to look more radiant!

Sir Sean Connery! I want to scream at him: Stop it already!  not fair being so good looking for so long! I’ve been needing to give you a hug since I was a little girl….

Yasmina!

Linda Fargo

Another young and gorgeous woman rocking her silver locks!

Any length, any age, any type.

So attractive and grey. The shoes are the perfect touch of colour.

Andie McDowell

Carmen Dell’Orefice.  Iconic beauty. Too made up to my taste, but who cares?! 😉

Pia Gronning, that is the way I would like to look as I get older.

You are so welcome!

She is stunning and with a great sense of style!  I love it.

and so is he!    (Aiden Shaw)

Wow! Amazing. Lovely hair, gorgeous eyes, perfect outfit.

Pia Gronning, class act.

Omg! I’m running out of comments already!  Love the man, love the fashion, thank you God. That’s it.

Do you see any “old” and “dated” here?  Should she go home and knit?…. I think most people are afraid of women in their prime.  We are a force to be reckon with.

Danish writer, Annika Von Holdt.

Cindy Joseph.

Andy Lucchesi

Silver on silver

She looks classy and sexy at the same time.

Her freckles look even cuter with silver hair.

Classy and sexy lady

Yes please, I’ll take one.

The right amount of color.

I’m very happy that in Europe they don’t have people older than 30 doing only viagra or insurance commercials. They are actually the ones who can afford most of the things they advertise and the ones who look best on them.

Love everything.

59 year old lawyer Jenny Hirschowitz. Spectacular!

All these exquisite women exude confidence, intelligence and poise.

I wish I knew who she is…. flawless beauty and style

Naturally gorgeous

Jasmina,  what a photography of strength and beauty!

What can I say in the face of reality?!

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I think I don’t need to argue my point anymore. The pictures talk by themselves.

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Sigrid Rothe

Richard Gere

Helen Mirren

What a cool guy!

Since I have some Elle Macpherson pictures in this post, I found only fair to include this guy as well!

Aiden Shaw

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Jodee Anello, 54

I love her.

Beautiful Yasmina

Grethe Kaspersen

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Wow! those eyes and that hair!

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Sarah

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The beautiful Pia Gronning

Mr Clooney.

Outstanding!

Grandma Yasmina Rossi.

Beauty at it’s best.

Jo Skinner

Pia Gronning

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This is life.

Carmen Dell’Orefice. Unbelievable!  84 years old….

Kate Winslet.

Love it!

And last, but not least,  last pictures and a question about insanity.

You sicko!  Who are you catering to?  Child predators?  Are you trying to make her look like she is a baby and about to be baptised?  How old is she?  Is this legal?   When did this become better …

Than this again?!  Never.

This long labour day weekend, I hope you have fun, enjoy life and accept yourself the way you are. I am sure you are more than beautiful for many people around you, now be beautiful for yourself!  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Behold your own.

And this would be me, trying to find my own!  It’s in the process, it’s going to be a year since I started growing it. The picture is a month and a half old, and so far I am the only one who loves it in the family!    Oh well, we’ll see!  
xx

Crazy about Nancy Meyers’ Films!

Crazy about Nancy Meyers’ Films!.

Beautiful Inspiration

SOMETIMES A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, SOMETIMES A FEW WORDS ARE WORTH A THOUSAND PICTURES…

HAVE AN INSPIRED AND GREAT WEEKEND!

Gratitud changes EVERYTHING

You are a LIVING magnet…

Be happy for THIS moment..

The creative adult is the child who SURVIVED!

I AM more than what you SEE..

Tough times don’t last; Tough people DO

Imagination encircles the world….

You have more to do than be weighed down by pretty or beautiful….

You 

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The earth has music..

Henri Cartier-Bresson 

Just three things…

There is only one happiness in life…

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

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And now what? Just being me…

I don’t know if there’s anybody out there that is ever going to read my words and I’m a bit scared of beginning this journey…. I’ve wanted to do this for a while and just postponed it over and over again …

After my youngest child of five left for college, I understood well the empty nester’s feelings!  Thirty-six years of being a full time mother!  I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself!   All that time I used to dream of having was now leaving me with an empty hole in the stomach and heart!  Oh the mixed feelings!!!… I was so used to being a mom that I wondered…. COULD I JUST BE ME?

What does it even mean being me?!  Who am I?!   What is left of the person I used to be? I hope I am a better version of my younger self, but who knows?!  We usually are, we are supposed to be …. Who doesn’t remember her younger self?  I do!   That girl full of passion who dreamt of being a lawyer, an interior designer, an artist, is still here, somewhere…  Why would I feel her so much otherwise if she wasn’t here, inside of me, kicking and screaming: Let me out of here!    It has become harder and harder to recognize the person in the mirror…

Where did time go?  Am I still on time to live my own life, experience my own dreams?!   –  I have loved being a mom, totally and completely and still do.  My best moments are when I visit my children or they visit me.  Now for example, I have three of them home for a week, two of them on their way back to school and one on her way back home, my daughter, and I have her, literally  on my butt, following me around, asking me to start this!

This is supposed to be a blog about Interior Design, art, travel, photography and all the lovely things that make life worth living…Actually, I don’t really know what is it going to be about, but I should share a little bit of who I am while trying to discover it myself…

One of the reasons I found it so difficult to start writing is that English is not my first language, and obviously I’m not a writer.    Does it matter?  They say not to sweat the small stuff! Isn’t the content more important than the vehicle?  I absolutely think it is.   Never liked perfect things, never will. I think they are boring, uncomfortable and unnatural. I like things that feel real and possible, unique in a way, unaffected and spontaneous !    What this first post is about is … Do I have something interesting enough to say? Don’t we all?   Thanks to the awesome Belgian designer Greet Lefèvre from Belgian Pearls, a wonderful blog about design and lifestyle, I decided to venture into this unknown territory…. (Greet is from Belgium and has never allowed the fact of English not being her first language stop her from writing and sharing all the beauty that surrounds her, inside her home and out!  Go visit her blog, http://www.belgianpearls.blogspot.com  if you haven’t done it yet, you’ll be happy you did!   Thank you Greet for being an inspiration.

While my youngest boys were finishing high school, I went back to school to study Interior Design, I had always loved decorating and everything related to design and art and frequently have helped family and friends with that.   It came so natural to me, but I needed the title to feel I could have my passion become my business.  Now it’s time to start…  How to start? Where to start? – While I was in school,  I received some  generous comments about my work, telling me I was an artist!  I didn’t know what to do with that, it was so good to hear, but so hard to believe…. I always wanted to paint but never did, I kept telling myself, I wasn’t an artist!  It seems like I was expecting to be given permission to dare to try …  What is art if not an honest expression of your soul? A higher and universal language of communication…  Life’s too short to waste just wondering “What if…”.   Thanks to the encouragement of people in my family, I finally started painting this summer while on a three month trip overseas!   …  Being in South America, looking at the Pacific Ocean every day, made me feel inspired, like I could accomplish many things,  I guess I’ll have to press forward and keep trying … So, what is it going to be?  Who am going to become?  Let’s find out, shall we? Well, not you, just me 😉

Hopefully you’ll find me in this magic cyber world and decide to keep me company for a while, perhaps you are in the same situation or going through a big change or discovery of your own? … If you happen to stumble by, please say hi!   Let me see if I can figure it out how to upload some pictures here.   …. AND IT WORKED! (These are some flower arrangement I made)  –  Just learning how to work this WordPress thing!

Next time this will be about something more interesting. Today I just needed to vent…